3 Conversation Starters to Get Kids Talking
“Nothing.” “Stuff.” “Fine.”
Are these the standard answers you get when you ask your children about school?
And those are the answers on a good day (which are better than a dismissive shrug of the shoulders).
Television shows and commercials paint a fantasy world of family life for many of us, as we watch a child and their parent huddled together over milk and cookies, deep in conversation about the world of school, friends, and beyond. 🤗 In the real world, it sometimes feels like pulling teeth just to get those one-word answers.
But part of the problem may be the questions we ask. When the question is simply “How was your day?” then “Fine” feels like a perfectly acceptable answer. Well-formed questions invite your child to walk through the door into a real conversation.
Here are 3 keys to asking better questions—plus 7 examples to get you started.
1. Ask open-ended questions
Close-ended questions can be answered in one or two words, which usually shuts down the conversation. Open-ended questions require more thought and invite more detail.
2. Ask for specific information
A broad question like “What did you do at school today?” is technically open-ended, but also very general. A quick one-word answer like “I played,” answers the question without getting into specifics that might continue the conversation.
Instead, the question, “Tell me two things you learned today?” inspires thought and a more complex answer.
Specific questions give your child a clear focus to certain aspects of their day and encourages a more meaningful response.
3. Start with your own story
Children are not born naturally understanding the give-and-take of conversation. As with almost everything else in life, it is up to adults to teach them. You can model these rules by starting with your own story with a statement like, “Start thinking of your favorite part of the day, but first, let me tell you something that I enjoyed today.”
Sample Conversation Starters for Your Child
Not sure what to ask? When looking to have in-depth conversations with your child, get creative with how you start. Use some of the following ideas to inspire your own questions:
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What happened that was interesting today?
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Tell me 3 things you noticed today.
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Tell me something you did well today.
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If you had to pick one word to describe today, what would it be?
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What was the most fun thing that happened today?
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Did your day go like you thought it would when you woke up this morning?
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If you have to give today a rating from 1 – 10, what would it be?
The most important part? Listen.
Encourage conversation by making sure your child feels heard. That means putting down your phone, muting the TV, and making eye contact (unless you’re driving!) so they know they have your full attention.
When kids feel truly listened to, they’re more likely to open up—not just today, but tomorrow and the next day, too. Over time, those small conversations add up to stronger connections and deeper trust. ❤️
Learn more about our award-winning educational childcare, preschool and before and after-school programs at The Sunshine House.
